Outrageous forecasts for 2022

January:

Elon Musk announces that he is building a fleet of spaceships to start a colony on Mars. It turns out he has sold all his bitcoin to buy rocket fuel, which basically explains why the price of bitcoin has been falling and the price of gas rising.

March:

Facebook Inc sends out a 30 minute advance warning to all its staff to attend a meeting in the MetaVerse. It warns that anyone who fails to attend will be fired. Only 27% appear as Avatars. The rest are still in their pyjamas.

April

Donald Trump changes his political affiliation for the 7th time since 1989. He announces that he is forming a new party called the “Unmasked” Party.

May

The neighbourhood of Hollywood in Los Angeles announces that it will re-brand itself. In future the district will be called “Metaworld”. All major streets will be renamed. For example Sunset Boulevard will be renamed “Spacex”, Rodeo Drive will become “Roblux”, Fountain Avenue will be renamed “Facebook”, Gower Street will become “Google”, Hollywood Boulevard will be known as “Amazon”, Melrose Avenue as “Apple Avenue” and the star-studded Walk of Fame will be called “Netflix Walk”

June

Hollywood Golden Globe Awards will be renamed “Hollywood Global Bitcoin awards”.

July

Covid: As new variants keep popping up, governments recommend their populations to get a 4th, then a 5th booster.

August

Tesla renames itself “AI”, short for “Artificial Intelligence”.

September

Governments recommend everyone to get a 6th booster.

October

As autumn approaches, the top vaccine companies say that it is likely we will need daily injections if we are to stay healthy.

November

The UK, USA and Europe announce the introduction of digital currencies, known as “Central Bank Digital Currencies”, or “CBDC”s. The CBDCs are direct liabilities of the respective central banks, and are pegged 1:1 to the respective national currencies. Anyone can instruct their bank to convert their money 1:1 into CBDCs in their digital wallet. Retail banks are now in competition with the Central banks.

Investment Advice

None of the above should be regarded as investment advice. Do your own research.

But here is a piece of advice you can heed:

It seems like everyone around you is making a ton of money buying shit-coins with pictures of dogs. They also bought the hottest new tech stocks with p/e ratios in the hundreds which still “mooned”. But everything you touch seems to immediately go down?

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